This morning I held Seth in my arms. He had just fallen asleep for his morning nap. He was resting so peacefully and he looked so beautiful. I put my hand on his chest and I felt his heart beating. It was such a special moment. One of those moments that make you teary eyed because you are so grateful for the little one that God has given to you. It was at that moment that I knew why God provided us with children. It was so that we could see an inkling of how much He really loves us especially since He gave his only son to save us. As I sat rocking Seth, a fear of something being wrong with Seth's heart crept into my mind and I realized the magnitude of God's gift.
When we went to the doctor on Wednesday for Seth's 1 year check-up, I answered all the questions that they typically ask you. Then we moved on to the physical exam which included ears, nose, chest, etc. Our doctor listened to Seth's heart and then asked if we had ever discussed a heart murmur. I told him no. He confirmed with Seth's chart and then broke into a lengthy explanation about heart murmurs that I somewhat understood while still trying to stay composed and keep my panic face from showing. He suggested that we have an echocardiogram done to see if there is actually a murmur or some other problem or nothing at all. He said not to be concerned until there is actually something to be concerned about. I am not sure if that actually made me feel much better, but we scheduled the test for today.
After reading some information about heart murmurs on the Internet, (it's funny how we rely so heavily on the random information on the Internet to deal with most everything involving raising a child or any other random thing we go through) Bryan and I felt much better. Apparently they are very common and most kids have a murmur at some point during their childhood. It's any sound that is heard that is not the typical lub-dub sound, which could be caused by so many things, circumstances, etc. We decided to not worry too much about it and wait for the results of the test.
This morning Seth had his ultrasound on his heart. He did really well and only had a few moments during the beginning of the test of crying. After realizing he wasn't getting any shots and eating a vanilla wafer he was all good. The tech said God blessed him with a beautiful heart and as we were heading out the door she said she everything looked just fine. Seeing as how techs are usually not supposed to say anything I think that was a good sign. Either that or she doesn't have a clue what she is talking about, but I don't think that is the case. If there is a concern we will know in a couple of days. If it is no big deal then we probably won't hear anything and the cardiologist will mail a letter to our pediatrician letting them know it's no big deal. So in this case no news is good news.
While we still aren't in the clear and there still is a possibility that something could be wrong, we have a peace about what ever happens (and boy, those little bonus God-showing-us-His-love moments are awesome!).