Finding the Words

It's been hard to blog for the last several days. It's not because I have been too busy, because I have had plenty of time. I actually probably have had more time to blog than before because of all the time in between the 2-3 hour blocks of time between feedings. It's not because I haven't felt up to it due to recovery, because I have really felt very well other than some minor soreness. It's not because I have wanted to keep everything a secret, because I am ecstatic about our little man.
I haven't blogged because I haven't been able to find the words to describe what has actually taken place in our home since the birth of our son. I didn't go through what some people call the "baby blues" or anything like that but both Bryan and I have been filled with such strange new emotions. Never before have we ever been touched by something so deeply. I find myself just staring at the human being that came from both of us and being so filled with joy and awe. As I was going through some of the paperwork from the hospital, Bryan and I were both amazed at how much of an impact our son's footprints had on us. I tried reading a book the other night to Seth and I was barely able to make it through the tiny book without breaking down and crying because it was such a special moment. I know I still have a lot of wacky hormones going on right now, but this goes beyond hormones, I think. These deep feelings of joy and happiness and awe were unexpected but are so amazing. Sure I knew people said parenthood changes everything and that you cannot imagine how much you can love a child of your own, but I didn't expect for the new bond between Bryan, Seth, and myself to be so strong. So even though I have been silent for several days, big things are happening here at the Tillery household, and boy, those things and feelings are amazing!